Tag Archives: boston

A Quick Weather Report

For those of you living under a rock, perhaps you’ve heard that New England is absurd right now. Some snow drifts are taller than me, and you can sled down outdoor stairways (the dining hall looses many trays in winter weather this sustained). Any chance of celebrating Mardi Gras is out of the question right now.

There are icicles hanging from awnings right now. That’s right, icicles. For some reason, I thought this was a phenomena contained to the very far north, but apparently they’re actually a normal thing in New England. Still, I’m impressed by them.

I’m equally impressed by the locals who insist upon ordering iced coffee from Dunkin Donuts. And the fact that people bring their animals out in this weather. That’s not to mention the wild ones. We’ve had subzero windchill, and yet somehow there are still bedraggled pigeons in the train station. Some naive part of me expected (wanted?) to find fully frozen animals underneath the snow. Apparently the only ones that haven’t migrated have burrowed into the ground.

I think people should migrate, and I’m not talking about the sad march to Florida that you make when you reach retirement. I mean every goddamn winter. I want out.

I get catcalled for the first time

Last week I was catcalled. It was on the minor side: “Hey, hun, why don’t you smile?”, but a catcall nonetheless. Now, I really wanted to spin around and go all feminist on the perp’s ass. “Look, asshole, women aren’t walking down the street so you can look at our pretty faces, you can go fuck yourself.” Or something of the like. So I turned on the spot to put him in his place.

Except he was a disabled man in a wheelchair. And I wasn’t sure what to do. “Alright, dumbfuck, you have no idea what it’s like to be part of a large group of oppressed people who are only just now making large strides in equality. Nevermind that disabled people are in the exact same situation. Sure, you have no legs, but do you know what it’s like to not have equal pay? Oh wait…you do? Fuck, man…”

So instead I muttered, “Uh, I guess I’ll think about it,” and hightailed put my headphones in. A friend of mine suggested I should have said, “That was uncalled for and normally I’d go all feminist on your ass, but I’m just going to walk away.” (It’s funny because he can’t. I’m a really horrible person.)

I was also street harassed by some foreign high school boys on a bus. “Aye, you are a-very pret-ty! I would-a fuck-a that-a!” I know they were high school boys because they were hanging out the windows of a yellow school bus. I know they were foreign because of their thick accents.

I never experienced street harassment on the west coast. Maybe it’s because I lived in a small town, maybe it’s because everyone on the west coast was substantially prettier than me, but it didn’t happen to me there. The opposite happened. Once, a homeless man called me an “uptight hippy bitch”, which is an oxymoron. Which I pointed out. That was a mistake, and a story to be told another day.

This comes as a surprise because I never considered myself attractive enough to be catcalled. Turns out, that was entirely arbitrary idea, because catcalling doesn’t make you feel attractive. There’s a great artist named Tatyana Fazlalizadeh whose campaign “Stop Telling Women to Smile” came to my school. It’s been amazing to see her artwork plastered around campus.  I strongly suggest you check out the video on the front of her site.

 

Phone call with Mom

A talk on the phone with Mom inevitably begins with asking for money. It’s not that I’m short on money, quite the opposite in fact for a college student, I just didn’t have enough money on my debit card in this instant to buy an online textbook. Plus, I need that money for weed. After the exchange of financial information, the conversation turns to more motherly things, because mine is the stereotypical Jewish mother, and we’re not even Jewish.

Are you sure you don't need me to send you money, dear? I heard college students buy lots of pots. That's for plants, right? I'm glad you understand the importance of gardening.

Are you sure you don’t need me to send you money, dear? I heard college students buy lots of pots. That’s for plants, right? I’m glad you understand the importance of gardening.

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Welcome to Boston

This city confuses me. I walk around campus, and I smell dog shit, but I never see it. It’s like it exists somewhere in the ether, piles of dog shit buried behind the veil of the dream world, with only their stench bleeding into reality. There are also far more cigarette butts on the ground than in  California, and far more runners than at home (I’m the only runner on the ground, usually hyperventiliating). These are two things that probably shouldn’t exist at the same time, and yet somehow, in Boston, they can. Health nuts in California have to do the whole sha-bang: running, weights, no smoking or drinking, kale chips, motivational youtube videos. But health nuts in Boston can pick and choose. I like this place.

There isn’t much difference between East Coast kids and West Coast kids, except for one thing. East Coast kids love Chipotle. In this godless age of internet games and unnecessary piercings, Jesus has been replaced by Chipotle. Continue reading

The Coming of College

The hippies have got me. I’m writing this between shoving batches of kale chips into the oven, with an edition of Adbusters open at my side. I haven’t written on this blog in weeks, and since this seems to be a developing pattern, I think I’ll stop apologizing for it now. In nine days, I will be arrive at college, the fabled land beyond the misty mountains and pine trees that as of now, remains solidly in the world of fantasy. That’s nine days before this blog changes from a home for my off-color complaints and criticisms of a small town, to my off-color complaints and criticisms of a large city and school. So I will now join the ranks of the college bloggers (perhaps the flakiest variety). I’ll be complaining about shaving in communal bathrooms while 34% of the population doesn’t get to attend university at all. It’s good to maintain a perspective. Continue reading

Humongous Life Decisions

By the way, guys, I made a huge-ass life decision this week. I have decided on a college. And it’s quite literally across the country, Boston to be exact (why yes, I am trying to put as much distance between myself and my parents as possible). I guess now I have to learn how to spell Massachewtits. So which of the fabulous universities in Boston will I be attending? Northeastern, which I chose specifically so I could not be in Boston. Continue reading

Stranger Profiles

I really enjoy meeting new people. Like, a lot. I enjoy opening conversations with random strangers (and that, kids, is how I found out that the government is monitoring my facebook for evidence of alien interaction). My trip to the east coast was wonderful, partially because travel and college, but mainly because I talked to a lot of random people. So now I’m going to profile them.

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