Category Archives: Stories

How I Met My Rock (Quite Literally)

I was walking through the forest one day when my foot was rudely blocked by a large something-or-another. The large something or another turned out to be a rock. I went sprawling onto the ground and, by the force of my foot, it went skipping out in front of me. Dazed, I stood up, brushed myself off, and looked at the object I had collided with. I apologized profusely, and it said nothing.

It was a tough cookie to crack.

It was a tough cookie to crack.

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Villain for Hire

Personal villain available for general scheming and malicious deeds.

About me: I’m an out of work villain in need of a nemesis. I have been in the business of evil for many years, and have amassed unmatched experience. The dastardly plots at my disposal range from advanced to simple, with nuanced variations in between. All evil plans can be adjusted according to the needs of the beginner or recreational hero. I have plots ranging from easily foil-able to difficult challenges worthy of the seasoned hero.

Skills: My expertise is in the following areas: Continue reading

The Genie in the Beer Can

It was sweltering, arid day in the Sahara, and I had been riding my ungainly camel for hours. As the hot red sun reached its zenith, I spotted something glinting on a distant, hazy dune. I adjusted my burqa and urged my steed faster. What could the unearthly speck of silver be?

We approached the gleaming object. To my surprise, I saw that it was a can of some sort. I dismounted, and gingerly picked it up. The aluminum burned my hands. I turned it over and read the inscription:

Pabst Blue Ribbon Continue reading