Category Archives: Lists

Why This Week Blows

I haven’t written in a long time (a problem which I will address later), but have decided to wield my keyboard again in a misguided attempt to change the world. Or rather, I will talk about myself, seeing as there is so little I know about the world.

Why this week blows:

1) Blizzards

Completely real blizzard Juno blew into the East Coast with the fury of an anti-vaxxer on an online forum. I was subjected to temperatures in the teens, icicles threatening to impale me at every awning, and, later, the perils of black ice and slush. The snowfall earlier this week only added to the slushy disaster that is Boston’s roads, screwing with public transit and with my innocent Californian expectations of winter. Meanwhile, at home it is 60°. Continue reading

5 New Apps On My Phone

1. Tinder

I recently posted about this here. I love Tinder. It gives me license to judge people on face value, which, unfortunately, societal norms don’t allow me to do face to face. Anonymity is a beautiful thing. I’m going on my first Tinder date on Friday. I fully expect to feel as awkward as Mitt Romney at a reggae concert. Yet I look forward to it, because for lonely college students everywhere, the Tinder logo represents the possibility of sex and regret.

Although some people skip straight to the regret.

Although some people skip straight to the regret.

Continue reading

How to Eat at College

Option 1: Steal Food

This is by far the best option.

Maybe it’s the expensive tuition and board, maybe it’s my college scholar attitude, but this school is making me an entitled little prick. Yes, I’m talking about all the food I steal from the dining hall.

Oh, perhaps you thought I was talking about something else–the way I’ve abandoned my family and only send them monthly updates on my life via email newsletter, or the way I spit on homeless people now that my two weeks of a college education makes me better than them. Continue reading

5 Songs I Absolutely Loath (And Why)

I like music that makes me think. This can come in two forms: it can be stylistically complex or the lyrics can tell me a story. For this reason, I have an aversion to overtly simplistic pop music. However, sometimes, it is simply a small sound or technique within a song that causes me to hate it.

 

  1. Such is the case with Lana del Rey. At face value, I would expect to love her music. The beats and instruments are interesting and keep my attention, but her voice immediately turns me off. Someone once described her to me as pop alternative opera, but her voice sounds entirely average to me. Sometimes, she chooses to make it raspy or to over-enunciate consonants. Each song as a whole strikes me as mediocre, and these bad stylistic choices, sometimes just a few bars, make me wince. Listening to her music feels like an incredible waste of time.

Continue reading

Wholly hole-y

I write to you from the lonely wasteland that is my bed. The reason for this is simple, I have had my wisdom teeth pulled. Wholly hole-y.

I would not have been as fearful upon entering surgery had it not been for an outdated video from the 90s that was shown to me last week. Not Buzzfeed-fun-90s, but public health annoucement with special effects that gave me nightmares. I’m still not sure if the nightmares were from its overall bad quality or the material it contained.

Terrifying Risks Associated with the Removal of Wisdom Teeth Continue reading

5 reasons why I will never be a celebrity

1) Lack of talent. It’s not that I don’t have skills, it’s that they’re not marketable. Sure, I sing and play piano, but so does everyone else, and what makes my singing and playing piano any more memorable? Absolutely nuthin’. Not to mention my songs sound like Elton John’s B-sides meet drunken homeless bluesman.

This is what my music sounds like.

This is what my music sounds like.

Continue reading

All of my excuses for not writing on this blog

Okay so I haven’t written on this blog in a very long time. Roughly a month and half. Whoopsies. In this post, I will try to make excuses.

1) I was too busy graduating high school. Because graduation was soooo difficult, especially seeing as I only took five classes this semester, three of which were in project mode (this means freetime), and one of the remaining two being choir. I certainly didn’t use this project-making time to have lunch at nice restaurants in the city. I was busy working so that I could be a graduate. Continue reading