I didn’t notice while it was happening. I’ve been working at a health food store for only nine months and the process was slow as molasses. No, slow as pitch. Slow as the pitch drop experiment. You see your friends and neighbors, sometimes even your relatives, get sucked into its dark clutches. It’s the kind of thing you think will never happen to you. And then it does.
I was jolted back into reality yesterday morning. A customer was planning on making a kale salad. “You know what I do,” I began pompously. “Is I mix Bragg’s apple cider vinegar with olive oil for a light but sour dressing. You can use whatever other garnishings you like, but capers are the best. Then, last but definitely not least, I sprinkle organic nutritional yeast on top of it. Keep it healthy, you know?”
And that’s when I realized what I had become. A yeast-pusher. An obsessive apple cider vinegar drinker. A filthy hippy. Before I know it I’ll have tried every chia seed kombucha drink on our shelves (my favorite insofar is “green chia”).
My coworker, a born-again carnivore who worked in a tofu factory in the seventies, supports me in my endeavors to return to my pre-hippy state of mind. He says it’s a twelve-step process.