Great! An excuse to talk about how painfully single I am!

So today’s daily prompt is:

He’s (She’s) So Fine

What was it that drew you to your significant other? Their blue eyes? Their ginger countenance? Their smile? Their voice?

What are you talking about Daily Prompt? Even if I had a significant other they wouldn’t be significant.

I love it when this kind of thing is the daily prompt because a) I get to talk about how painfully single I am (surprise surprise) and b) I get to read defensive posts by other bloggers  that can be summed up by “I don’t need no man”.  What’s really great is that when you go onto the Daily Post’s post for this, most of the pingbacks contain the words “forever” and “alone” (like this one, which won first place by including both). The Daily Post really does not know its audience. I attribute this fact to two things. One, us bloggers are losers, and two, those with enough mad skillz to have significant others are too busy trying to keep them (cite bloggers are losers, above).

In fact, why would we even bother obtaining a significant other? We’d have to desperately keep our nerdiness and pathetic writing attempts to ourselves, because if the veil were pulled from said significant other’s eyes, they’d be gone in an instant. After all, who would want to date someone narcissistic enough to post every detail about their life onto a social media site for bloggers which is basically Facebook’s annoying younger sibling? That’s right, our non-existent significant others, that’s who.

Wordpress: Where hipsters and housewives go to air their dirty laundry.

WordPress: Where hipsters and housewives go to air their dirty laundry.

I’ve scrolled through the posts in response to this prompt and have been able to quickly categorize them into three separate phenotypes: Bad Poetry, Forever Alone (includes the “I don’t need no man” subcategory), and Suspiciously Enthusiastic Response.

Bad Poetry is exactly what it sounds like, it usually appears on a blog called “_(Generic female name)’s__ Diary/Journal” written in an ugly cursive font. It tries to rhyme “love” with “hugs” and talks about how he’s so funny and makes her smile. It’s definitely true love. It has to be. They met last weekend at In N’ Out.

Forever Alone is sardonic and usually includes gifs from TV shows available on Netflix instant play.

Because a loser uses memes like these when going through Netflix-binge withdrawal.

Because single losers use memes like these when going through Netflix-binge withdrawal.

The rhetoric is brusque and gives off an air of carelessness to hide the pain and hurt within the author’s very single heart.

Suspiciously Enthusiastic Response describes their partner’s physical features and personality in very great detail. So great, in fact, that the reader can’t get through the first paragraph. It’s filled with words like “kind-hearted” that are so vague you wonder if these bloggers are all married to the same person. You begin to wonder if the significant other actually exists. Maybe you’re reading a therapy blog and the writer is off their meds.

And then there’s me. Judging you all.

Also, wtf is a “ginger countenance”?


11 thoughts on “Great! An excuse to talk about how painfully single I am!

  1. Pingback: DAILY PROMPT: He’s (She’s) So Fine | Nola Roots, Texas Heart

  2. Pingback: Daily Prompt: He’s (She’s) so fine – in the feline sense of the word | Chronicles of an Anglo Swiss

  3. angloswiss

    Although I have my partner for 47 years, I entirely agree with your thoughts about WordPress and my blog was on similar lines. Luckily I have three felines, they are the other, but if significant I am not so sure. When I want to keep my private life private, they lend me their stories. Thanks for the laugh – loved that blog.

  4. MyLovingWife

    I had a good laugh reading you… not sure which category I would fall in. But then again my significant other knew what he was getting into when he made his move. Oh and maybe it’s because English isn’t my native language but I also went “with does ‘ginger countenance’ mean?”

  5. Mara Eastern

    You made me laugh. Again. Thanks! I agree with the premise that bloggers are losers. (I’m one of them.) Also, that we need to keep our blogging secret from our significant others. (Which I do.) Other than that, happy blogging forever alone!


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