Torturing the Underclassmen (Daily Prompt)

High school physical ed classes destroy a lot of things. For instance: any chance you will ever exercise again, your datability, your faith in the kindness of other human beings, and an assortment of songs. Sort of like relationships! (Actually exactly like relationships now that I look at my list.)

This post could easily devolve into a bitch-fest about my freshman and sophomore year PE classes, but I must steal myself to keep that from happening. This is about the Daily Prompt, and I will not stray from its topic. I’m going to limit my complaints to that of the PE playlist.

For some reason, phys ed teachers seem to think playing loud popular music (of the arms-pumping, you-go-girl type) over gym activities is a great idea. I’m not sure if they think they are apologizing to the students or if they’re simply so brainwashed that they enjoy the department playlist that hasn’t been changed for years. It consists of songs like: “Eye of the Tiger” (Survivor), “Dynamite” (Taio Cruz), “Yeah Yeah Yeah” (Chris Brown).

Nothing like needling pop songs to accentuate the sweat dripping from your hair. Chris Brown triumphantly repeats “Yeah Yeah Yeah” every time you drop a pickle ball, and “Dynamite” plays with some irony while you endure the slowest game of badminton you’ve ever played in your life.

To this day, the playlist hasn’t changed. I walked by the gym during class recently and heard the anthems amidst the anguished screams of mobile freshmen. It brought me back. For a moment, I was one of them, enduring an dastardly combination of exertion, boredom, and simmering anger. I went into the gym restroom (the reason I was there), shaking as I did my business. Upon leaving the stall, I saw two sweaty little freshman girls. The fact that they were interchangeable (both blond and absurdly thin) did not change my empathy for them as it usually would. I wanted to take them in my arms and comfort them.

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Of course I didn’t. I smiled at them with sympathy. They looked back judgmentally, and then I decided the little jerks deserved that playlist.

I am, however, thankful that the PE playlist wasn’t music that I actually like, Motown for instance. Thank god it only ruined shitty middle-school party songs for me.

 

This topic was bloglifted from the Daily Post’s daily prompt: http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2014/03/02/prompt-remind-me/

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