The Most Boring Things I Have Done in My Life

The following is an incomplete of the most boring tasks I have ever completed in my life.

1) Stocking potatoes. That’s “stocking” not “stalking” (stalking would be marginally more fun). You can imagine the dullness of this activity. Juggling, I recently found out, is not allowed.

Not this kind of potato. Stocking these would be awesome.

Not this kind of potato. Stocking these would be awesome.

2) Any and all homework. Okay, not all, I have a couple of great teachers who either never assign homework or at least make it challenging. I’m talking the busy work that teachers give simply so that you have something to do for an hour each night. This is the bitchiest move a teacher can do, if you ask me.

3) Cleaning horse shit. I’m fine with cleaning my own horse’s shit (I asked for it by getting one), but when it comes to cleaning other people’s horses’ shit, it’s not an enjoyable experience. Sure, I’m grateful to have the opportunity to simply be around horses, but they don’t poop rainbows, and anyone who disagrees is kidding themselves.

Definitely no rainbows. (What do you want to bet I loose followers by including this photo?)

Definitely no rainbows. (What do you want to bet I loose followers by including this photo?)

4) Weeding. When I was a wee youth, my grandmother would often babysit me (may she rest in heaven, I only hope I didn’t drive her to her grave). For some absurd reason, she thought sending me into the garden to weed was a fun activity for a five year old to do. Though I have to admit, she was clever. If she put enough enthusiasm into it, I thought it was fun (I’ve heard this tactic works with sex, too). The point is, when the actual planting and decision-making is made by someone else, it takes the fun out of gardening. 

5) Playing along with a metronome. This can apply to any instrument, but in my case back when I was playing classical piano. It forces you to struggle through the parts you don’t know, and reduce the speed of the parts you do know to all the excitement of a funeral march. It’s a necessary evil, though.

6) Poetry readings. The ones with old people at the library. Never go to one of these, even if your best friend convinces you that it will be fun. IT WILL NEVER BE FUN. You will hear three separate poems about the tail fluff of the same squirrel, because it turns out all the old people are neighbors and that stupid squirrel going through their yards is the most exciting thing to happen to them ALL WEEK. They will write the same dull thoughts about the circle of life, the beauty of small insects in their gardens, and the pains of aging. You will search the library for ways to kill yourself and end the suffering.

Tolstoy is my only savior now. A large word count makes for a heavy weapon.

Tolstoy is my only savior now. The larger the word count, the heavier the weapon.

7) Subclipping. This is a thing you do when editing videos. It’s where you rewatch an interview you’ve already seen, divide it into parts, and name them. The only redeeming part is naming the clips in ways that insult the interviewee.

8) Driving with a broken radio. This is when I speed. Without something else to occupy my mind, I either start talking to myself like a crazy person, or become a menace to all other drivers on the road. The deaths of eleven birds can be blamed on my broken radio (or, you know, you can blame it on me being an irresponsible tweety-bird killer, but that’s boring).

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2014/03/01/prompt-chain-gang/

Trackbacks & Pingbacks

  1. A Blank Page: Haiku | 365 days of defiance
  2. Treasure From The Future & The Daily Prompt | The Jittery Goat
  3. Is School Useful ? | Knowledge Addiction
  4. Enough | Daily Prompt: Back on the Chain Gang | likereadingontrains
  5. Back on the Chain Gang | Life Confusions
  6. DP Daily Prompt: Back on the Chain Gang | Sabethville
  7. Picking up the dog’s turds! | ALIEN AURA’S BlOG: IT’LL BLOW YOUR MIND!
  8. Duty | dandelionsinwind
  9. Daily Prompt: Daily Chores | The Road Less Travelled By
  10. Daily Prompt: Back on the Chain Gang- Psychology behind our habit | Journeyman
  11. Driving Me Crazy | Under the Monkey Tree
  12. Déjà Vu and the Daily Prompt | My Author-itis
  13. Fort Lincoln at Point Lookout | Exploratorius
  14. It’s Laundry Day! | As Twisted as Fretzels
  15. Daily Prompt: Back on the Chain Gang | Indira’s Blog
  16. Sheen’s Laments | Flowers and Breezes
  17. eastelmhurst.a.go.go
  18. Chain gang | Sue’s Trifles
  19. Daily Prompt: Back On The Chain Gang | Chronicles of an Anglo Swiss
  20. Daily Prompt: Back on the Chain Gang « Mama Bear Musings
  21. S. Thomas Summers: Writing with Some Ink and a Hammer | Duty
  22. Daily Prompt: Duty | That Montreal Girl
  23. Daily Prompt: Back on the Chain Gang | tnkerr-Writing Prompts and Practice
  24. Daily Prompt: Back on the Chain Gang | The Wandering Poet
  25. Laundry: It’s what’s looming in my life | In For the Ride
  26. Irresponsible except for everything | Navigate
  27. Daily Prompt: Back on the Chain Gang | An Ordinary View
  28. 271. The Office | Barely Right of Center
  29. That is for example | Mindful Digressions
  30. Least Favorite Passion – Technical Reports | Ako Si Ehm Blog
  31. RFPs | Mindful Digressions
  32. I don’t mind chores! (Total lie – you should see my room) | The Bohemian Rock Star’s “Untitled Project”
  33. Fighting Entropy | Green Embers
  34. Rite of labour | shame
  35. Wishy Washy Time | Lisa’s Kansa Muse
  36. Five Random Housecleaning Links
  37. PERMANENT K. P. | SERENDIPITY
  38. Daily Cooking | Emovere
  39. The Worst Jobs | Kate Murray
  40. I Hate Trash Night | theeyelife
  41. Laundering Clothing | djgarcia94
  42. I Hate Grocery Shopping | Menimèse Creare
  43. Saturday morning | Garden Story
  44. Getting through the security lines while traveling the country to reach an AIDS-Free Generation | Institute for Hispanic Health Equity
  45. Wax on, wax off | Fictionalism
  46. Lizards, geckos, and bugs, oh no! | Myammy! Moving in together at 50…
  47. The power of love. | Trucker Turning Write
  48. What I cannot do for myself | Busy Mind Thinking

10 thoughts on “The Most Boring Things I Have Done in My Life

  1. Pingback: Daily Prompt: Back on the Chain Gang | Nola Roots, Texas Heart

  2. Pingback: Oh, how it casts me down! Task misery… | ALIEN AURA'S BlOG: IT'LL BLOW YOUR MIND!

  3. Pingback: Daily Prompt: Back On The Chain Gang | Chronicles of an Anglo Swiss

Got thoughts?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s