Villain for Hire

Personal villain available for general scheming and malicious deeds.

About me: I’m an out of work villain in need of a nemesis. I have been in the business of evil for many years, and have amassed unmatched experience. The dastardly plots at my disposal range from advanced to simple, with nuanced variations in between. All evil plans can be adjusted according to the needs of the beginner or recreational hero. I have plots ranging from easily foil-able to difficult challenges worthy of the seasoned hero.

Skills: My expertise is in the following areas:

  • I can ruin your: birthday parties, wedding proposals, expensive castles, tea cozies, neighborhood foliage, and life-long dreams
  • Thievery: jewels, crowns, money, horses, livestock, family heirlooms, and first-borns
  • Kidnapping: princesses, pets, wives, daughters, sons, husbands, and innocent damsels
  • General mayhem: cause traffic, poison town water, set loose prisoners, set fire to buildings, and bank robberies

Resume:

1990-1994 Attended Goodwin’s School for Villainry. Double major in Thievery and General Mayhem. Graduated top tenth of class, w/ honors.

1994-1996 Apprenticeship with the Joker. Assisted in poisoning Gotham’s water, and in releasing prisoners from Gotham State Penitentiary.

1997 Personal villain for Jubilee the Clown. Staged robberies and kidnappings at birthday parties. Popped balloon animals.

1998-2000 Continued education at Goodwin’s School for Villainry. Master’s Degree in General Mayhem.

2000-2004 Official nemesis of the Metropolis Police Department. Caused traffic, fires, blight, and pub brawls.

2005-2008 Understudy for Superman’s back up villain.

2009-2010 Substitute villain at Pennsylvania state agency.

2011-2013 Personal nemesis for Roseman, the ultra-rich, flying vigilante of Pasadena, California.

Contacts: The Joker (890) 666-8035, Ronny Bigharm (332) 789-3702

Price: Price negotiable depending on employer’s hero status and elaborateness of plots required.

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